Living While Gray

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Dating While Gray: How to Handle Dating After 50

August 4, 2020 by Angie

dating after 50Women after 50 have lots of reasons for their interest in dating. Maybe your marriage ended in divorce after a number of years or your partner reached the end of their life. Maybe you spend many years as a single and finally found an interest in someone to grow old with. As your career slows down and no longer fills every waking moment, those quiet times may drive interest in a long-term partner. Dating after 50 isn’t common, but it happens more than you think.

Unfortunately, for folks looking for love later in life, the options are pretty dismal. When you were young, you met new people everywhere you went. Now, meeting new people doesn’t happen as easily and most of the folks are married. Breaking up a marriage isn’t really what we’re talking about here. Going to bars for happy hour just doesn’t have the power to find new people the way it once did and, in the middle of a pandemic, it might cost more than a few drinks.

So, what are the options? Let’s chat.

Online dating after 50

Despite what young folks seem to think, most folks 50 and over have good internet skills. Yes, as you get past 70, you see the tech ability of folks decline but lots of 50 and 60-year-olds can do online dating. New dating platforms, like eHarmony and Match, include options for older folks to meet. Match appeals to some older singles because they offer events where singles meet rather than relying solely on the online platform. Many of the events hosted reflect a defined age group so you select an event for folks like you.

Most online dating platforms chare a small monthly fee with discounts for longer subscriptions (a word of warning–most platforms have an auto-renew feature so if you don’t want to continue, cancel before the renewal date or adjust the settings). You need a recent picture, preferably one with just you and not your entire family. Pets are ok in your profile picture and pictures showing you involved in activities you love work very well. Provide information about you and what you’re looking for and honestly answer questions. This is a good time to really think hard about what you want rather than falling back on what you know or what everyone else (family, friends, kids) think is appropriate. And, don’t fear going younger.

The downside of online dating after 50, or at any age, is dishonesty and scammers. I once met a guy online and he sent expensive gifts for a week before asking for a $100,000 loan. NEVER, EVER send money to anyone you meet online (no exceptions), and ALWAYS meet first in a public place. Don’t get in the car with someone you don’t know well.

Finding love at Meetups

Most cities of any size have Meetup groups around a variety of interests. Join groups that do things you enjoy without any expectation you’ll meet the man (or woman) of your dreams. Have some fun and meet new people but don’t obsess about dating. Join a dinner club or one focused on travel. I love hiking and other outdoor adventure groups, but you find something you love.

Unfortunately, most Meetup groups aren’t meeting in person. Some, rather than meeting virtually, decided to suspend activities. Others are meeting in person with very limited capacity to conform to social distancing guidelines. None of this helps the single who wants to meet new people and maybe find that special person.

Dating While Gray

While not a guide to dating after 50, Dating While Gray is a podcast featuring singles of a certain age who share their stories about finding love at an older age. The series. available wherever you get your podcasts, comes from WAMU in Washington, DC. The story I heard about the origins of this podcast, says it resulted after WAMU sponsored sessions to teach folks how to do a podcast.

Right now the series features 10-episodes on love, sex, and relationships after 50. Give it a whirl and see if it works for you.

Community events

Churches, community centers, parks, and other locations offer opportunities to meet folks. The key is to enjoy your time there, meeting new people as a side benefit rather than the reason for being there.

OK, enough for today.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, you can reach me through the comments. And, if you make this, post your pictures on Instagram using the hashtag #livingwhilegray.

See you back here soon.

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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: dating after 50, Dating while gray, Meetup, online dating

I'm a woman of a certain age who never learned to sit down, shut up, or act my age. I created this community of women like me to share our stories. Reach out (contact form) to share your ideas or offer to write a story. Read More…

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