Living While Gray

Age is Just a Number

What are the Amazing Benefits of Being Over 50?

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benefits of being over 50

In Western culture, age isn’t venerated the way it is in Eastern culture. In fact, youth is highly valued in most Western cultures. But, is being 25 that much better than being over 50? Most experts agree that the benefits of being over 50 far outweigh those you get from being younger. Let’s take a look at the top benefits you get by being over 50.

The amazing benefits of being over 50

1. More “me” time

When you’re younger, demands on your time expand to the point where there’s no “me” time. Face it, you’re juggling a hectic work schedule, kids, a husband, and other family needs leaving nothing left for you.

At work, you’re building your career, which often means overtime, working on weekends, and hectic workdays filled with stress. Cutting back on work just isn’t an option for most working professionals. Putting anything less than 100% into your career at this point dramatically impacts your trajectory and lifetime earnings, especially if you’re a woman or person of color. As a woman, you already have family factors that interfere with putting 100% into your career as women often bear the brunt of domestic activities, such as taking care of sick children and family members.

Your home life also doesn’t lend itself to much “me” time. Women with jobs still perform 22% more of the household chores than their male counterparts; an average of 4.9 hours of household work. When it comes to laundry, childcare, cleaning, and other duties traditionally seen as “women’s work” women still perform these tasks much more often than men.

After 50, you’re more stable in your career and have proven yourself, so taking more time off and cutting back on your work schedule doesn’t have the same negative impact it did when you were starting out. Your kids are now adults or at least driving, relieving you of running carpool to all their activities and staying home with them when they’re sick. Counteracting this, women in their 40s and 50s are often called the sandwich generation as they balance the remaining tasks involved in raising their kids with taking care of older parents who need care.

Thus, one of the biggest benefits of being over 50 is you have more “me” time. You have time to have a spa day or lunch with friends. Your evenings are free from childcare so you can read a book or take up a hobby.

2. More self-confidence

Gone are the days when you worried about how others would see you. In general, older folks of both genders feel freer to express their individuality and don’t try as hard to fit some mold formed by society. Otherwise, why would you see older men wearing socks with sandals? A new study shows self-confidence peaks around age 60, so that’s something to look forward to.

Increased stability in their relationships at work and at home foster increased self-confidence, as does the increased level of success achieved in significant roles, such as raising successful kids. Another of the great benefits of being over 50 is that we just become more comfortable in our own skin, more ready to laugh at ourselves.

3. Financial stability

As you approach retirement, you’re at the peak of your earnings and, thus, have a good deal of financial stability. If you own a home, you’ve built substantial equity over time and you likely have a little put away in your 401K to support you in retirement.

If you had a little bit of a financial setback, what with the recession in 2008 and the pandemic in 2020, special IRS rules allow you to catch up on planning for retirement and many businesses offer discounts on their goods and services, although you probably have to ask for them as they aren’t automatic.

4. Excuses

The benefits of being over 50 don’t stop there. You now have a built-in excuse to avoid anything you don’t want. Forgot someone’s birthday? Blame the forgetfulness that comes with age and everyone believes you. Don’t want to go to a party or other event? Blame a doctor’s appointment or say you’re prepping for your colonoscopy. Don’t want to comment? Just pretend you can’t hear the question.

5. People leave you alone

Once you reach a certain age, folks tend to leave you alone. You don’t get carded when you buy liquor and are less likely to get pulled out of line for a manual search at airport screening. Women of a certain age also face less sexual harassment at work than younger women. If you want to just blend in at an event, folks are happy to let older folks slide while, if you want to stand out, you’re more confident wearing that outlandish outfit that assures you get attention and folks remember you.

OK, enough for today.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, you can reach me through the comments.

See you back here soon.

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Is 50 the New 30? Really?

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50 the new 30

Image courtesy of E Online

Is 50 the new 30? This phrase has made the rounds for years, especially lately after Jennifer Lopez made her stunning Super Bowl performance last year looking slim, agile, and amazing for someone over 50 years old. Similar half-century plus performers seem similarly blessed with great genes that keep them looking like women almost half their age.

Is 50 the new 30?

Yet, if you’re over 50, you know the hype isn’t exactly true. Even major journalists call bullsh*t on the notion that 50 is the new 30. In many ways, 50 is way better than being 30.

Is life better with age?

For instance, Huffington Post argues that, in some ways, women over 50 are even better than in their 30s. They’re more confident and secure; more ready to speak their minds and stand up for themselves and other women. Another great advantage of being over 50 is that you’re kids are grown, or at least mostly grown, which frees up an enormous amount of time for doing the things you really love, rather than changing diapers, running carpool to games and practices, and attending PTA meetings.

Of course, the corollary to our aging is that our parents are aging, too. That means those over 50, especially women find themselves part of the so-called sandwich generation. Caught between caring for children who still live with us (and in the pandemic more older children moved home as they lost jobs, many bringing their own children) and our parents who can no longer live totally independent lives. Even though our parents might not share our homes, they still need help with shopping (especially given their high-risk during the pandemic), driving to doctor’s appointments, and other daily tasks they once accomplished without any help.

Hence, in other ways, we know this isn’t true and the notion that 50 is the new 30 is just what it sounds like; hype.

Is getting old all bad?

For instance, there’s no way to get around physical and mental aging, despite creams and exercise that make our bodies great, maybe even better than they were when we were 30 and struggling to build a career, having our babies, and stressing over things that we now take in stride. We feel more aches and pains, our eyes need more light, and we find sleeping much harder. Which is normal.

But, psychologists celebrate middle age as a time when there’s less drama in our lives as we’ve learned to roll with the punches and we’re less concerned with adhering to what society tells us we should be. Instead, we’re more comfortable in our own skin, making our own decisions.

The pressure to look young

Women, especially women over 50 (although this is true at any age) feel pressure to look younger (thinner, more attractive).

Face it. The entire fashion industry lives and dies by telling us 50 the new 30 is real and pressuring us to maintain the image of vivacious 30 year-olds. After all, they can’t sell us stuff if we’re happy with the stuff we have.

The industry must sell us creams to make our skin look dewy fresh, like when we were 30 or even 20. We need more makeup; concealers and stuff to hide the small lines that form around our eyes and laugh lines. Even our clothes must change since we “can’t” wear the same thing we did when we were 30 or we look like we’re trying too hard.

Yet, objectively, there’s nothing so attractive as a woman with confidence and the security to go down her own path. A smart woman who knows what she wants and goes out to and gets it is attractive despite what the tabloids tell us.

In fact, a recent poll by Today found that most American’s believe 50 is the best age there is.

When is 50 the new 30?

If you face the reality that age is just a number and stop worrying about whether 50 the new 30 is real or a made-up slogan dreamed up by folks who want us to act a certain way at a certain age, you’ll feel much better about yourself at whatever age you are.

OK, enough for today.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, you can reach me through the comments.

See you back here soon.

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Finding a Job: The 50+ Pandemic Edition

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Finding a job is challenging at any age, but it’s especially hard for women of a certain age.

I did a little research today to find out what women 50+ found interesting and it fell into a few standard categories: sex, health, appearance, sleep, and finding a job, which ranked high up there in terms of search volume. I guess I never realized how big a concern it was for women after 50 to find a job or keep the one they have. If you want to read an interesting perspective on unemployment among those 50+, here’s a rant on Indeed, the job search site. We can cover the gray hair, hide wrinkles behind the required mask, and pull our load with the best of ’em, but the job application still tells the tale. And, employers close their eyes to our potential. We’re old! So, today I’ll focus on finding a job when you’re over 50.

finding a job

The numbers

According to the Bureau of Labor in the US, unemployment is at its highest level since the 2006-2008 fallout caused by the housing market collapse — 8.4%; much better than the high of 14.7 in April. The bright spot in this picture is that women over 55 have a slightly lower unemployment rate, at 8%, which is a smidge higher than men at the same age; 7.3%.

Of course, data behind the numbers show a number of problems. First, if you got discouraged by looking for a job and stopped, you no longer count as unemployed, which is really wonky. Second, lots of women do jobs under the table, especially for family and friends, such as child care, housework. and catering. Third, the situation is much worse for women of color. And, finally, labor numbers ignore the fact that literally millions of women are underemployed, working at jobs well below their education and skill level just to pay the bills.

Why do so many women have trouble finding a job?

Every woman age 50 and over knows things are a lot better than they were. I remember in an Organic Chemistry class in college when a professor accused me of going to school for an MRS. degree (which, frankly never made sense since I was in one of the hardest classes on campus. If I just wanted to get married, I would have majored in something a lot easier). Women in 2018 only earned about $0.81 for every $1 a man earned, despite a law requiring equal pay passed in the ’60s.

Once you move past the issue of gender discrimination that forces women into lower-wage careers and reduces chances of promotion, you find a host of misperceptions related to age (both of which are illegal):

  1. If you’re over 50, you don’t understand technology
  2. You spent time raising kids and have huge gaps in the employment history
  3. Women over 50 can’t work as hard as younger workers
  4. Older folks don’t know how things are done in the modern world
  5. You’ll increase our healthcare costs because you require more care
  6. and the list goes on

Of course, much of this simply isn’t true.

Sure, young folks might text faster, but they don’t have a monopoly on tech-savvyness. At the start of every semester, students are skeptical when I show up to teach digital marketing. They figure, “how can someone so old understand computers?”. Then I proceed to run rings around them because they don’t understand how the digital elements they know work for a business.

Finding a job when you’re over 50

Well, it’s not gonna be easy and you have to make some changes.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’s too late to make a change. I completed my Ph.D. at 40 and several folks in my program were even older. Gaining experience or training to support your goals is a great thing at any age. It’s never to late to become the person you always imagined. Life expectancies are longer, meaning you still have time for a second career even if you’re 50 or older. In many jobs, you can work productively into your 70’s, which is when most of us now qualify for social security.

Upskilling

One of the surest ways to become employable is to upskill. Luckily, there are lots of short college programs (for instance, my digital marketing certificate is only 12-credits and doesn’t require a degree), online programs from places like Coursera and EdX, as well as continuing ed classes from universities, community colleges, and even community centers. New federal and state retraining money is available to support your upskilling efforts. While these programs might not result in 6-figure salaries, they do prepare you for today’s job market.

Other options include getting your real estate license, a commercial driver’s license, or other short training.

Resume building

Maybe you’re entering the job market again after years spent raising kids. You may face some problems finding a job right away and you may not know how a modern business runs. Gain some experience even if you’re working for free since you’ll gain valuable resume enhancement. Sure, getting a paycheck, no matter how small, solves some immediate problems, but it won’t help in the long run.

The gig economy

Start your own business. Yeah, maybe there was a time when it took a nice wad of cash to start a business, but, in today’s gig economy, you can start with almost nothing, especially if you have some skill. Maybe you’re a good writer or great at making things. Fiverr, Etsy, TaskRabbit, and a bunch of other platforms let you show off your stuff and get paid for your work. Or, you can drive for Uber or rent out part of your house on Airbnb since you have the kids’ bedrooms empty.

You can build a small platform to highlight your own skills for around $100 a year (I even offer a step-by-step guide to walk you through the process of building a website on my digital marketing website). So, if you ever dreamed of being a decorator or helping folks navigate the home health market, build a website then promote yourself to the community.

OK, enough for today. If you have ideas to add to this, please leave them in the comments.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, fill out the handy guest post form below. And, if you found great activities and adventures opening up, post your pictures on Instagram using the hashtag #livingwhilegray.

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Image courtesy of The Balance Careers

Preparing for an Active Retirement

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preparing for an active retirement

Maybe you anticipated retirement every morning when the alarm went off at 6:30 am. Or, maybe you’re reaching the age where retirement enters the planning horizon brought on by letters from AARP and Social Security with updates on your retirement account. Whatever the reason, the time is now to begin preparing for an active retirement. Looking at the image above, you see Pearl’s vision of retirement isn’t all that active.

So, let’s think about how to prepare for an active retirement. First, let’s think about how life changes with retirement:

  • You lose your income and, if retiring before 65, you lose your insurance
  • You no longer have something taking up 40-60 hours/ week
  • Family shrunk to just you and maybe a spouse
  • The family home might be too large now
  • Regardless of your current situation, health declines are inevitable

Preparing for an active retirement

Financial needs

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint), much is written about preparing for an active retirement, but focuses almost exclusively on financial planning.

The focus on financial needs post-retirement probably comes from the wealth management industry of brokers and advisors who rely on you for their living. The more you save for retirement, the more commissions they make, and, while it might seem enticing to retire with $1 million or more in your 401K, you don’t really need that much. Especially when you consider that life expectancy beyond age 65 averages only about 15 years, although life expectancy may be as little as 18 months for some professions. And, don’t forget that many seniors have substantial equity in their homes, adding to their retirement nest egg.

Certainly, financial planning is important when you retire, but it’s not the MOST important thing.

Boredom, loneliness

A bigger issue in preparing for an active retirement is figuring out what to do with all the extra hours in a day. Think about it — you got up early for decades, went to work often surrounded by colleagues, and raised families. Only to retire with little to do with all the hours stretching in front of you. Without careful planning, you likely face a future of boredom and loneliness.

My aunt complains of boredom and laments giving up her job, even though she worked well after 65 until bad knees made it impossible to be on her feet so much. She lives in the same community and has family in the area, but everyone has their own life, so she spends most of her days surrounded by her cats, and the television kept on for noise.

To avoid boredom and loneliness now is the time to plan for activities to fill your days.

  • Learn a hobby, especially one that involves other people, such as golf or bridge.
  • President Jimmy Carter

    Image courtesy of Habitat for Humanity

  • Begin volunteering somewhere you can make a difference. Look at former President Carter who still builds homes for Habitat for Humanity well into his 90’s. Schools always need folks to help with reading or other activities.
  • Check out the local senior center for activities. Many allow you to join before you’re retired
  • Think about transitioning to retirement by working part-time or less for your existing employer or in a similar field

Family

Your family likely is on their own now. And, as time goes by, you’ll lose your spouse. For many years the needs of your family filled your days, taking kids to soccer practice, going to school plays, meeting other moms at kid’s functions …

Now, all that’s gone.

So, how to fill that void. Folks like my neighbor fill their time babysitting their grandkids, something that works out well for their kids and them. However, as you age, keeping up with kids’ demands may challenge your strength and calm. So, think about ways you can stay active in the lives of your family. For instance, a friend reads bedtime stories to her grandkids every day via Facetime (an app on her iPhone).

Downsizing

Nows the time to think about downsizing your home. Maybe before you sell your home, think about getting rid of big, bulky furniture and things you never use. After all, you won’t be cooking and serving meals for a crowd anymore. Give unneeded objects away to charity or to help furnish your children’s homes. I’m sure they’ll appreciate whatever you don’t need.

You likely have many sentimental objects taking up space. Think of creative ways to save the memories without the bulk. For instance,

  • Turn a beloved children’s blanket into a square on a new blanket filled with other cloth memories, like a piece of a stuffed animal your child slept with every night.
  • Organize photos, and eliminate some less important ones. Do you really need 30 photos of your child’s graduation? Then, transfer them to digital format.
  • Donate books to a second-hand shop or a library. You’ll never re-read most of them anyway. Besides, reading from an e-reader allows you to enlarge the print for easy reading, thus containing 1000s of books in a compact form.
  • Knick knacks accumulate dust and clutter up your home. Get rid of them.

Stay healthy

The time is now to ensure you have a healthy retirement. Get enough sleep, drink a lot of water, and do something active every day, even if it’s only taking a walk. That’s where Pearl is a big part of my retirement planning. Every day we walk, getting in our 10,000 steps around the neighborhood or exploring trails in the area. Increasingly, communities plan for these low-impact spaces great for walking without all the hills that make hiking difficult. The more active you are now, the more active your future retirement.

OK, enough for today. Enjoy your day.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, fill out the handy guest post form below. And, if you found great activities and adventures opening up, post your pictures on Instagram using the hashtag #livingwhilegray.

See you back here soon.

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Maintaining Jewelry: Keeping Your Investment in Top Shape

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If you’re like most women of a certain age, you accumulated an array of jewelry over time — some of it valuable pieces, others are bits of costume jewelry that may not be worth anything.  You love wearing the pieces, especially because they really make an outfit special. Over time, you find your jewelry no longer looks great, as it once did. Jewelry gets damaged, dirty, or goes out of fashion. Here’s your guide to maintaining jewelry to protect your investment.

The meaning of jewelry

Maybe you’re lucky enough to have expensive pieces in your jewelry collection beyond your engagement ring and maybe a pearl necklace, which was standard issue when we were younger. In some cultures, wealth was determined by jewelry, such as in India where a woman’s wedding jewelry defined not only wealth but contained symbolic meaning.

maintaining jewelry
Over the centuries, jewelry was something you could keep close and exchange in times of tragedy because they had universal value. Stories abound, for instance, of Jews using their jewelry to gain passage out of Nazi-occupied territories. Others share similar stories of exchanging jewelry for life-giving needs such as food or safety.

Likewise, you may have pieces handed down from your mother or grandmother. These pieces may have great sentimental meaning even if their monetary value isn’t great.

Maintaining jewelry

From time to time, things happen to your jewelry. Whether it’s your child pulling on a necklace until it breaks or losing a stone from a ring, damage happens. Likely, you throw the damaged pieces in a draw or back in your jewelry box. Next time you rummage for a nice piece, maybe you come across the broken jewelry wishing you could wear it again.

Well, before you throw the piece of jewelry away, check out these solutions for maintaining jewelry so you can wear it again.

Broken necklaces

When my kids were younger, I was in graduate school and didn’t own much jewelry beyond my wedding set. With my grandkids, it’s a different story. I have lots of pieces, mostly costume stuff from Chico’s. None of my jewelry is expensive, but I love the pieces none the less.

The grandkids seemed to love twisting, pulling, and generally straining my necklaces and I had more than a few with broken strands. I keep a jewelry repair kit handy for fixing broken pieces.

jewelry repair kit

Here’s what you need to fix those broken pieces.

  • save as many beads as possible as finding matching beads is challenging. Online retailers really help when you need a special bead to replace those you lost.
  • buy special thread made of metal or plastic to restring your beads. It’s nearly impossible to reuse the broken string. I also keep a supply of raffia as it makes a great foundation for stringing beads.
  • buy clasps as these seem to break frequently
  • some special needles for working with beads. These needles are more flexible so they work around large beads.

Sometimes, you can get away with simply removing a strand if your necklace has multiple strands. In other cases with multiple strands,  I find restringing each strand separately works best, then merging the strands by attaching them at their ends.

Here’s a necklace I’m working on right now. Notice some strands are still merged while others I finished restringing yesterday. Next, I’ll attach all the strands together and add a new clasp.restringing strands

Earrings

We all get earrings as gifts or bought them only to find the posts too big to fit comfortably in our holes. After a day of wearing these earrings, our earlobes feel sore. The solution is to either wear them frequently until the hole expands or fix the problem.

The solution isn’t that hard. Buy a few diamond files, since you need a diamond to cut easily through the metal of the post. Put the earring in a vise or simply hold it tightly, exposing the post. Gently file the entire length of the post, turning frequently to keep the rounded shape. It takes a little patience since the key is to remove a small amount of metal at a time. Put something good on TV or radio, and file away. Just remember not to push too aggressively or you may break the post.

Losing a stone

Losing a stone from a piece of jewelry isn’t an easy fix. If you lose the stone completely, this maintenance project is also expensive. The best solution is to maintain jewelry by checking the stones periodically and fixing the problem before it’s a major expense. Most jewelers will check the stones so that’s the ticket for expensive stones, like diamonds.

For less expensive jewelry, you can replace the stone by purchasing an inexpensive replacement. That and some superglue and you’re set.

Bracelets

It depends on the type of bracelet. For some, the repair is similar to repairing a broken necklace. To complete other repairs, the elements aren’t strung but attached to a metal structure. For this type of repair, you need a small soldering kit with a gold-tone or silver solder. Be really careful, as the tip of the soldering iron gets extremely hot so you need to protect your surface as well as your hands. Also, ensure small children and pets are safely away from your work area.

A tiny amount of solder will fix your bracelet right up.


Going beyond maintaining jewelry

Keep all your supplies and extra bits of jewelry around. I keep them in a small basket so anytime I have a few minutes, I have everything close by for maintaining jewelry. If you have to gather up materials, the repair seems more difficult and you might put it off. I keep my basket near the living room sofa so I can grab it for a repair while watching TV.

Keep all the extra bits you don’t use because you now have elements to update your old, unfashionable jewelry or start from scratch on a new piece. I also like to hand out in craft stores and buy extra beads or other materials whenever I see something I like and load up on stuff whenever they have a sale.

Cleaning your jewelry

Jewelry takes a beating. It gets sprayed by perfume, dangles into things, has grubby hands reaching for it, and gets coated in lotions. Your gems lose their luster, gold looks tarnished. and dirt collects in the crevices. A good jewelry cleaner works for most jobs, but I keep a small sonic cleaner on hand for bigger projects. Don’t add delicate stones, like Opal, but most other jewelry goes into the cleaner basket for a nice little bath and comes out shiny as new.

You can get a nice sonic jewelry cleaner for under $40 at a variety of retailers.

sonic jewelry cleaner

OK, enough for today. Enjoy your day.

Be sure to check out Living While Gray on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram. If you have ideas or would like to write for us, fill out the handy guest post form below. And, if you found great activities and adventures opening up, post your pictures on Instagram using the hashtag #livingwhilegray.

See you back here soon.

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